My Life Dream

Do you ever find yourself caring about something so deeply, feeling so impassioned by it that it makes you cry?

Well, that’s me.

In general I feel pretty deeply in about pretty much everything, but every once in a while sometimes I just feel so much I cry.

They aren’t tears of happiness or sadness; they are just feelings so overwhelming that they literally spill over in tears.

This is how I feel when I think about what I want to do in my life. I’ve searched for the answer to, “If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?”

It’s actually a question I’ve struggled with quite a long time. I remember going to college without a clue as to what I wanted to major in or do as a career. It’s the natural thing that everyone asked you as a senior in high school. Sorry, no answer for you.

Thankfully, my college had an awesome First Year Experience (FYE) program. That first week of freshman orientation we had opportunities to go around and be introduced to all the different majors and learn about the classes and professors. I was naturally inclined to the communications major and when I went there, I immediately knew that I had found my home. Classes included public speaking, news writing, photography, feature writing, public relations, and so much more.

As a natural communicator – or at least a naturally expressive chatty person – this seemed like a really good fit for me.

And it was. It was an awesome four year education that made me a good public speaker and writer. Even if I never did anything in my major I think those two skills are essential in every career and just in life in general.

Yet, about junior year hit in college and the questions started coming at me again: what are you going to do after college? AHH! I had picked a major; wasn’t that enough?

No, apparently now I’m expected to do something with it. Hmm..that’s interesting.

My junior year was also the most amazing year of college when I was able to go on an abroad and spend 10 weeks in China. Life changing, is all I can say. I could fill a book about how this trip was transformational – and how amazing and welcoming the people of China are. One aspect of the trip that was so life changing for me was an intensive research paper I did. I decided to do it on non-governmental agencies (NGO’s) in China. That really made for an interesting paper in a communist country – and life experience. I visited various NGOs in the country and talked with their founders. The one thing I found across the board? Passionate people working tirelessly to help people.

Whoa. That’s where it all changed for me. I suddenly knew what I wanted to do: work for a non-profit so I could help people.

That’s exactly what I did. My senior year I began applying to every non-profit job I found. Then, when I got home, I set-up informational interviews with every non-profit in my town. I eventually landed a job at the children’s museum where I spent my first two years, shockingly, using my degree as the Marketing and Special Events Coordinator.

From there I jumped over to a quasi-governmental organization, a local water authority, as the Communications Coordinator. It was slightly different than a non-profit but it was still providing an essential service to the community.

A couple years in though, that restless feeling came back. That niggling question was back: “What do I want to do with my life?”

For me it took simplifying that question to find my true answer. My answer was so simple: I want to help people. I want to help them understand that they are so worthwhile, they are wanted, they are enough. That they are amazing in their own special and unique way.

No, this is not an exact job, but it is all I want to commit my life to. The interesting thing about finding such a simple but meaningful answer to that question, is that I realized I could start that life mission any place I was. It isn’t a job description but a job mentality. It’s something I can commit to and bring with me anywhere.

Yes, ultimately I would love to spend my days writing and speaking with people to help them feel the value they bring to the world. To help lift them up everyday and realize their own incredible being.

I’ve started that here on the blog and it has brought a feeling like none ever I’ve ever had. I’ve never felt so committed, so inspired, so passionate, so invigorated about anything I’ve ever done. I feel like my soul overflows with thoughts, words, and feelings that I want to spread around to the world. Words that will make you feel absolutely surrounded with love and support. Words that will bring you joy and understanding. Or just words that make you realize you are not alone.

It is when these thoughts, feelings, and words take me over, and I just feel electric. I just feel so much that the tears naturally follow. It is my biggest desire bubbling over, and I actually thrum with the need to continue this journey of committing every day to helping people feel their value, to feel that they are enough. It’s the most empowering and exciting feeling I have ever had – and I want you to have that too.

I encourage you to really get down to the feeling of what you want out of life. It’s not necessarily a job name or career field. Instead, what is it that you simply want to accomplish at the end of the day? When you find that answer, that’s when you find your true purpose in life.